Mindset Tip: How to move forward when fear holds you back

And Your Question is?Question:

How do I get over feelings of overwhelm and procrastination because I don’t know where to start first? I have all the tools and education I need, yet the fear of tripping up over what I don’t know holds me back… please help!

Answer:

Taking The Next DOABLE Step One Step At A Time

I know you said you have all the tools and education you need…so have you had a nice little chat with your fear? I know it might sound crazy as a loon…and I have seen it work over and over. We often try to force the feelings of overwhelm and procrastination away…not stopping to see what is at the root of those actions (or “non-actions” if you prefer).

I totally understand this feeling ‘cuz I’ve been there, still go there!, so many times in my life. It’s funny (not the ha ha kind, the weird kind): I’m a business coach and consultant that does all this system, analysis and techie stuff. And yet I also work with mindset and fears and energy.

Why? Because it is our mindset, our beliefs, that most often hold us back. I’ve been on the phone with a coaching client who swears she is ready to move foward and so XYZ.

Yet I can feel the resistance. Feel the fear coming up. If I had even a penny for every time those fears held me back, I’d be rich!

Some techniques to try

What is the fear trying to tell you? Is it “truth” or is it a holdover from the past (whether this life or another, if you believe in past lives, which I do).

One option to clearing those blocks and false beliefs (I’m not sure I know enough, what if someone finds out I don’t know enough, what if I make a mistake…and on and on it goes), is to look into  healing options like EFT, meditation, laughter yoga, and the like.

Another technique is to ask the question another way and then let go and let your amazing brain go to work on an answer…

Why is it so easy to to move forward with ease and grace?“.

or

What could I do, this moment, that would be a step toward what I DO want?”

This approach is called an “afformation” by the creator of it (Noah St. John) and frankly I find it a whole bunch easier to handle than the “fake it till ya make it” or “just do it” models. I’m a question-asker by nature (and I think most humans are!), so love this approach to finding my way through to success.

No matter what route you choose, remember this. Those fears have served you well for years. They may not be serving you now AND when you

  1. pay attention to them
  2. discover their message
  3. release them if they no longer serve you (tell them it is their turn to play…it’s a fun way to let go!)

you’ll find the path easier than trying to plow through on grit and determination alone.

It isn’t always easy to do this work alone, which is why I started doing coaching sessions in the first place. To see if what we’re a match, grab your complimentary 24 minute session and let’s get you living the life that suits you!

big hugs, big blessings

MamaRed's Purple Signature

P.S. What things have you tried to overcome your fears? Share in the comments below.

P.P.S. Oh, and don’t try to take on everything at once. Find the next do-able step, no matter how teeny tinsy you think it is!

Image courtesy of Jeremy Deades

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  • Victoria says:

    Hello Mama Red
    So glad I finally made it to your site from Tiffany D’s. Now I am an ex-procrastinator in the making and I know a thing or two about stuff holding me back.

    A lot of us have all the tools in place to get to where we want to go but if you are coming from a place where those around you are not supporters or they expect you to fail at everything you try, that message can stay heavily engraved in your memory and can be hard to erase.

    There are several solutions that can take you closer to where you want to go and one is to find a supportive group of people, who will not judge you but will help lift your spirits that you feel safe to venture ahead.

    It can take time to find the right people but the results can be amazing.

    • MamaRed says:

      Hey there Victoria…so glad you’re here (and totally know about the ex-procrastinator stuff..big time). The right support system is absolutely CRUCIAL to your success in making the shift. Hope you’ve found the one that is right for you.

  • These are some great tips for dealing with all the inner junk that can sometimes hold us back. I actually posted about one of these today because “What could I do, this moment, that would be a step toward what I DO want?” is pretty much my husband’s way of dealing with anything in life he wants or needs to do. I’ve grown as a person by seeing him do this and by trying to learn those same skills.

    • MamaRed says:

      Hey there Crystal…great minds think alike? And what a wonderful model your hubster is. I’m learning that one and it has definitely been worth the effort.

  • Tamsin says:

    Hi MamaRed

    I like the idea of afformation and asking oneself what to do to move forward. The mind likes nothing better than a question to solve. And why not give it something positive to work towards instead?

    • MamaRed says:

      I really liked it too Tamsin. I’m such a question asker, have been since a kid. So afformations worked better for me that affirmations so my mind loves to tell me “nope, that’s not true!”

  • I love that you address being both technical and more …….spiritual? not sure that’s the right word.

    I find clients are so hung up on what they think will be hard or time consuming that they won’t even look to see if that’s true!

    I just took someone through signing up for her paypal account so she can actually get money for her coaching services! She has put it off for 2 years because she thought it would be too hard. It took about 10 minutes and she did all the work.

    Amazing what our minds can do, huh?

    • MamaRed says:

      Thank you Jenn…for me they all blend together (too many years of study of too many things maybe?). And I’ve run into the same thing (had a similar situation as you when I walked someone through setting up their Gravatar to help take that next do-able step toward building their tribe!). Our minds are amazingly complicated and my experience has been that we complicate things so much we freak ourselves out! Glad you were there to help that lovely coach take HER next do-able step and reach those who need her.

  • Mama my crazy mind went overboard with having a conversation with my fears. However I have talked to eight legged creatures telling them I’m bigger and meaner than they are but I still need to use half a can of spray on them. And if I have to swat them, I’ll do it from as far as I can reach!

    I wanted to read more about afformations through your link but couldn’t get past the sign up form. I’ll do a Google search instead.

    When I have a problem I like to write it out fully. That way it is concrete and my mind can start working on it. Just seeing it written helps. Then I can start to break it down into smaller parts and work on solutions for each part.

    • MamaRed says:

      Sorry about the link Kathy and I know about that crazy mind thing. Mine is, most of the time, on overdrive in some way or another. Excellent suggestion and sure appreciate you sharing it with the igKnight Your Business Family. Muah!

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